It's bee a while since I've returned the the left coast and this time it's under a crumbling liberal administration. I mean don't get me wrong, I dont give a shit about
either party or their governance. We are likely doomed regardless of the next eloquent speech reader, or Reaganesque gray hair. So let's rock it for a couple of days in one of the most fucked up cities in America.
I have to travel from LAX to downtown which is about 10 miles and it will take an hour and a half. Once I get there and checked in, the "transient navigation plan" will come into play to avoid getting shot, stabbed or robbed (or all three, called a downtown trifecta). Bars come in two categories, uptight and barely surviveabIe. I will intentionally choose uptight but not before finding a Mexican roadside joint that makes Cali style burritos.
The Carne Asada burrito to those who grew up on them is like rice to a Somalian; death can occur without it. I pledge I will only eat this style of Mexican food for every meal while I'm in this ceas pool of a city. Ok, ok, a bit harsh, LA rocks like most American big cities and I know it. Just because I'm down town doesn't mean Malibu is not available or Pasadena. What the fuck happened to Hollywood and Glendale? A blind person would think they were in Rostov, Russia or Baku, Azerbajian. So I can't get fucking gas without my card being skimmed? Fine, I'll walk or grab a cab- wait, once again, my card will be skimmed. Don't laugh (or be pissed), it's true. I found this Mexican joint attached to a car wash. This is exactly what I desire. It's packed. Every orange vested road worker in LA is in line for the tamale special. Not me, I'll have the Carne Asada burrito with several plastic cups of peppery hot sauce and a glass of horchata. Incredible! Perfect! Thank you! $5.
Los Angeles is not uptight like the NY. Besides a couple of shakers and some rioting, Los Angelen's have enjoyed a rather unauspicious upbringing unless you live by USC or in the Valley. When I moved to middle America in a town with 25,000, it was an escape from Southern California to an extent. Returning for business is both a vacation and a return home. Three days will be plenty to remind me why I left, perpetual illegal immigration, 6 hour patient waiting room lines with posted signs stating "if you don't have the money to pay, we will still treat you..." , grid lock like China in a smog bank, housing prices that don't match the available jobs and well I digress...
But back to the not having to pay part. When I used to get to the window in an unexpected ER visit, no such admonishment was read to me? Instead, I hand over my insurance card which costs me $17,000 a year and a co-pay. Then I go sit and wait, counting how many persons seeking the illegal American dream are told they don't have to pay. Another thing, if I don't pay, will my child be seen? If i don't pay, they can easily find me and garnish my wages or ding my credit. If Juan Carlos Sanchez Guerrero doesn't pay, he walks. I mean I'm glad his toddler just had heart surgery and all at Children's, but my flu shot just cost $600 factoring in my annual visit frequency and annual premiums.
So onto Obamacare which solves for my Mexican friend but not for me. I don't even care anymore and wouldn't comment further if it were not so damn funny. I have resolved to making $200k a year and sending 50% back to Washington, It's the price I pay for trying. Most would say, I'm lucky and therefore they are owed a similar amount of luck. Obamacare is brilliant. At this juncture (the initial emploding of the program and his administration) it's so fucked up I have garnered the opinion that "problems" are a diversion for the real plan. There has not been a mistake with a website rather the first of a series of calamities that are a means to an end. Create a bigger problem then revert to the "too big to fail" clause and in an 11th hour crisis, deploy an even more expensive mindbend on the peeps with a cost that was never advertised. The poor won't give a shit because they are in the 6 hour line just getting through the you don't have to pay paragraph. They love the government and Obama. They will love the next fool who campaigns on give aways. (As would I if I were poor)
But seriously, who advised on this? It wasn't that qwerky puma Sibileus was it? There is no way in the world she has ever contributed to any thoughtful program or governance strategy. Instead, she is the political classes version of entitlement. Like all dems and all conservatives in elected roles, leadership is not rewarded at the voting booth anymore, only give aways are. But can you blame them? Security of their pension and a life of healthcare ( not obamacare ), a healthy schedule of dinners and events, maybe a carefully produced 60 Minutes piece broadcast to 14,000 baby boomers? Wait, this is governance-just keep telling the ignorant and scared the next iteration will work? Boehner is classic too. Dude plays tough guy for as long as he can before having to rescue the room at or near midnight by caving in on 60 years of team building and policy establishment. He know's though. His party is as negligible as freedom is in Iraq. As popular as a Koran in southern Missouri. A pary that will never hold presidential office again with it's legacy of ideals.
I always have said after experiencing a certain amount of mingling with government officials that you either give the mutants what they want or they will eventually become a liability to the extent you will spend more money trying to dissuade their aid and needle exchanges than you will providing the billions of dollars in social programs. We are there now, can't afford the programs and can't piss them off, so tax the fuckers who just got one of the new $100 bills!
All great democracies have fallen.
A Tecate from a can with salt and a lime seems like the back end of food bank line but with Carne Asada tacos and hot carrots? There will be no Bookers on this trip and I love that shit. I won't drink PBR because before frat dudes who shave their balls declared its cool factor, my late dad bought it because it was $3.50 a case with a $5 rebate at Alpha Beta. I will look for Sol, Carta Blanca and Negra Modelo in honor of the 23,000 opportunity seekers that have crossed the San Ysidro border since I started writing this rant. I will toast to every ICE agent and 23 year old Border Patrol Officer who is ducking from gunfire right now while his or her boss is just making the turn at Torrey Pines with a federal delegation in town to declare the border safe. And when I'm done with my breakfast, I will seek out a 60 ring gauge Honduran cigar to puff my way throughout the streets of Los Angeles trying to avoid the LAPD because it's a felony to smoke in public in Kalifornia.
Look, it's easy to generalize in a blog and not be held responsible for my self publishing empire. But maintaining a blog site dedicated to home brewing, food and cigars gets old after a while and a healthy rant is good for the mind, like therapy that doesn't require a co-pay.
Now if I can just figure out how to lower my blood pressure without a prescription...
So what we've covered is all over the place. A food and beer trip evolved into a government rant because, California reminds me of why we have lost our future. As I'm tapping on this iPad, I've concluded the trip and need to review some key points and reveal that my original stated plan became as screwed up as obamacare.
First of all, cheap Mexican beer never made it to my lips. Instead, it was that damn Bookers that continued to populate my bill. Laziness became the guiding factor as the lush and empty bar at the Sheraton became night ones watering hole. I get most of my elixirs on the rocks. My Russian friend gets so pissed off at me because he believes you get less of a pour. All I know is, I like the ice and this bartender was filling to the rim! After two, it was starting to feel like a 16 hour travel day. A bit sleepy but starving. Our waitress recommended an Asian fusion joint called "Woc-something" around 7th and Hope and we hit it. Unbelievable sushi and a Mongolian beef dish that just won the day for me. Two Sapporos and some miso and we were back to the hotel.
Day two was the work day but only til about four o'clock and then our delegation of government officials led us thru a dignitaries pub crawl. First up, an Irish bar called Casey's with a subway level patio reserved for cigar smokers. Here's where it gets interesting. It's the Black and Tans and Jameison deal but out comes a 40 year old Kentucky bourbon the house decided to treat us to. How can this be? That's got to be a $100 fill right? It was like vapor. Just the slightest sting followed by nothing. Unbelievable. My stick was also a movie star. A Xicar, maduro 6x48. First puff exactly like the last which burned my thumb. If a roach clip was available, I would have kept smoking it.
Next up The Standard, a roof top bar 400 feet into the nighttime sky in the heart of the city. It's November and it's 83 degrees, an ironic reminder of why so many people live here. But really, we have already lifted 4 Black and Tans, two rounds of Jameison and the bourbon. So now what? This crowd is uptight but at the same time mellow as couples lie in outdoor cabanas and naked chicks swim in the neon pool. Ok not totally naked but very close. There are no chairs, instead, everything is a couch with a slanted back so your only option is to lay down or sit uncomfortably with your elbows on your knees. This sucks for a bunch of dudes. No one knows what to do. You can't just recline and keep talking about decades of cop stories. It feels gay. I sat on a planter while yet another round of Bookers came out.
So anyway, beautiful people everywhere and time for the nerds to head down and look for another place to pile onto the last two. We end up at a place called, The Library Bar. Now it's Hefeweisen and these burgers that were so good I'm not sure I've had better. This place is crowded but we get seated and chow down hard to try and help filter the $600 in booze we have just gone through at the last two stops. As we get back to the hotel and pass the lounge our waitress asks if we found the Asian place and if we wanted another round of bookers. Yeah, no.
The next morning is ugly but not that ugly. I'm up and running and starving. I'm pretty sure one credit card is still at The Library which doesn't open til 3 and I'm on the plane at 130. I'm craving horrible food and what do I see? A Carls Junior. Yep, I'm going hard at this joint. As I wrap up this rant, I'm compelled to tell you that what I originally dispised about this state became front and center again. Here is this mall based Carls Junior that has to be the biggest CJ in the world and there are 15 transients in line counting pennies at the register to get one $.99 cheeseburger. Oh it gets weirder. A six foot eight tranny is asking to see the manager and another geriatric dude in a walker is ordering a pitcher of beer at the register. I'm thinking what dip shit orders a pitcher of beer from a Carls Junior at eight in the morning? Boy am I the schmuk when the cashier hands this filthy transient a fucking pitcher of beer! Wtf? Their serving pitchers of beer to transients at a Carls Junior! The transvestite finally gets a manager and inquires about a job while he/she eats the 99 cent special and drips all over the ground. I haven't even ordered yet and I feel like taking another shower. But mild hangover wins and I order. It sucked.
So Lost Angeles is 1700 miles behind me now. I would rate the trip from a booze/food/cigar perspective as great. The work part was productive and I'm still very happy I left the state when I did. My travel schedule is about over unless I get tapped for a lovely China, India, Brazil boondoggle. Rest assured, if i do, we will chat again.
UPDATE- My card was skimmed and drained in Texas as I flew back to simpletown...fuck LA!
So I have been storing my carboys in this HVAC dungeon and several other items as well. As I continue to build out my brewery I will be acquiring some pro level fermenters with blow offs. There was really no other area of the house I could use that could survive a wet messy disaster, plus this room is already plumbed for overflow drainage with the water heater and AC dumping into a PVC trap. 
There is a little more room than I thought in here. The dream is two conical fermenters with blow offs and two stainless buckets from SS Brew Tech, the new king of stainless brew vessels! 
I am shooting for a small footprint, gravity fed, three tier system. The fit and finish of this all wood brew stand will be an interior wood structure finished with an old barn look covering all but the burners. After returning from Lowes with one box of screws and 10 2x3's, I was not sure $28.75 in total cost was even possible in terms of building a sturdy stand but what the heck, at that price I could burn it and not care. 
Using a sub frame that sits flush with the ground and adding inserts that became the pedestals was my plan. An upper HLT platform followed by a mash tun tower that was one foot lower than the HLT deck and then a third stand at ground level for either the brew kettle fill location or a bucket station is where I was headed. As usual, design and construction quality were somewhat suspect as this thing took shape. 
Getting the tops level for the burners was a pain in the dick. Constant nudging and set screws finally resulted in a platform that was level for the 15 gallon vessels I would be using. Remember water weighs about 8 lbs per gallon. Phase one was to set everything with 3" galvanized screws followed by lag bolts with washers and nuts for the final strength test. 
This front tab is either going to be a third burner or just a lower tier for brew kettle filling or a bucket stand. It's not entirely necessary to have a third burner but it would eleviate the need to lift and replace vessles during the brew. 
Setting the 14x14 steel burners dealt me my first hiccup as I thought I could drill through the steel to screw down the frames. No such tools in garage. So, I reverted to using 2x2's to pinch the frame to the pedestals. 
This rear view has both propane lines visible and the HLT and mash tun in place. In phase two of this build we will be installing a propane tank deck and most likely a third burner set up. I'm torn between wheels and adding another subframe of treated lumber to make contact with the ground. Untreated white wood will not work in a damp environment. 
So here it is, a $30 brew stand in a horribly backlit picture. It's solid and sturdy. Functionality is going to be tested next weekend when we light the flames and brew another ten gallon batch. Phase two's build in a couple weeks, stay tuned!
Laying out your ingredients in order of what is added to the boil will help you to easily predict what's next as the timers ding. Building on one of my previous blogs about cleanliness, this is the most vital process. Remember anything that is boiling is sterile. Anything that touches the post boil mixture including stir sticks, siphons, fermentor container, tubing, your hands and fingers have to be sanitized with Star San or One Step. Even the lid to the fermenting bucket or carboy and the airlock should soak in your sanitizer solution until use. 
Using propane burners are very efficient but so is the stove top. I would suggest migrating to the garage or patio at some point and particularly if you are using larger kettles or burners. As you can see in the above picture, there are valves and thermometers on each pot. It's nice but each kettle can run $175-$350 with all the gadgetry. A simple thermometer and timer will make beer that tastes just a good as the plumbed kettles. 
Let's talk about a 5 gallon all grain batch. 
Now notice the temp range between 140-160. This is the temperature range for starch conversion when the grain meets the water. Getting the grain stirred into the water naturally causes a 9-15 degree temperature reduction so you have to compensate for that. If you want to shoot for a mash temp of 158 then add say 12 degrees to that and heat the water in the HLT to 170f. When you dump in the grain, the temp will fall naturally down to the 158 range. Now the grain will need to sit at 158 in the mash tun for one hour. I would recommend a cooler based mash tun which is insulated and holds temp perfectly. If using a kettle mash tun, you will likely need to keep it on a burner to maintain temp for the hour. In a pinch, you can add warm water and stir to get the temp back up. Once your
At 30 minutes pull about a gallon of the mash liquid out of the mash tun and into a pitcher. Gently poor the contents back into the mash tun. Repeat this one more time. This process is called, Vorloff. This process allows the grain bed to set firmly on the bottom of the mash tun. At the hour mark, drain the contents of the mash tun into your brew kettle. Get as much liquid out of the grain as you can. 
This beer was a bit on the outside of my comfort zone because of the pumpkin spice. Im not a fan of spiced or flavored beers but I wouldnt turn a pint down either. This brew was strange because at one week in primary it did not taste right. At two weeks in secondary, it started to taste like beer but it was still a little bland. 
The JR Cigars house brand is a good smoke. Whether you have the catalog or visit them online, they give you their alternative to the best brands out there. I find that for the price, their house brand won't disappoint. Enjoy. 
Oldham Ale Smoked Chili
A Hydro&Brew sponsored home brew tasting party was held at the Northwest Nano basement brewery on October 12th. Some of the best home brewers from the region came out, growlers in hand to participate and govern our first ever 10 gallon batch of brew. As uncomfortable as events can be when they are one, not established, and two, no one has met yet, this jumped off great with introductions and favorite recipes. NN had the smoke house lit with cherry smoking a pot of Oldham Ale chili for hours as the brewers rolled in. Our sponsors, Jason and Jenny from Hydro&Brew brought the finished Oatmeal Stout and Baltic Porter from the beer day they hosted at the store. NN had its offering of Oldham Ale for the group to try and critique. 
The second part of our day was running our first batch of a 10 gallon recipe through our newly purchased twin burner rig, an Imperial Nut Brown, we are calling, "Nutzo". Twenty six pounds of grain for the mash tun to convert. More on the brew later...
As the growlers came out, so did the tasters including myself. Our most senior brewer brougt this gem he called green as it had a pouch of fresh hops sitting in the bottom of the beer. Now, write this down, I don't like hoppy beer. I love hops, just not IPA's on steroids. So I grabbed a taster glass so I could take a sip, and set it down to rinse my mouth out with Ale. As I smelled it, I couldn't help but notice a pineapple note mixed in with a flowery onslaught of hops. As I tasted it I was surprised by the complex, fruity (but not flavored) aroma that seemed to permeate my nose and eyes as I swallowed a hesitant mouthful. It was the most complex beer I have ever tasted. It was the best IPA I have ever drunk up until the brewer reminded me it was not an IPA, rather an APA or American Pale Ale. Even better as I am in full support of revitalizing American brands in every part of our lives. 
I would say the Oldham Ale Smoked Chili was a hit as was the buffalo chicken dip and a cream cheese thing with bel peppers and ham chunks. Our brew den was tested both in ambiance and functionality. Three taps, a keg cellar, a shabby sheik humidor and a vintage record player spinning ACDC's iconic, Back In Black as the night wore on. 
Finally, the 10 gallon batch and the tutoring session I received from the attendees who can seriously brew beer. I would say my biggest confusion was around the sparging process and delicate nature of setting the grain bed. We (Jake and I) had previously treated these steps as "hurry up" sections of what can become a long process if you are brewing at the end of the day. Once they slowed me down and walked me through everything from the vorloff (sp) to setting the grain bed, I felt like the mash efficiency was rising as we continued to sample our brews and smoke cigars. 
The 1.080 OG
